Do These to get the Best Out of Friendships in 2026: How I Choose My Friends

Photo by Wasa Crispbread on Unsplash

To a degree, I am sceptical about friendships because heartbreaks are real! Before I call someone my friend, my brain cells deliberate, and they must have seen the person fit. Yours doesn't have to be the same; however, reading this blog post should reduce your risk of disappointment in any kind of relationship. 

Disclaimer: This guide is best for people who consider friendship dear and deep. If you think friendship is nothing and shallow, this article may be too spicy.

How I Choose My Friends (And you should too)-

My Values Remain Unshaken: 

Values define us. My values define me. Why should I lose myself to accommodate another? 

When I meet people, my values are the first filters. If they repel a person, friendship is out of the question. No, it isn't pride. There is a difference between accepting people with their flaws and shrinking yourself. The latter has nothing to do with friendship. I wouldn't throw away my values for friendship. Neither should you. 

Quick Character Study:

First impressions aren't always right, so don't be deceived by the "quick" in "character study". 

After a few encounters, I can tell whether a new acquaintance has the potential to change or get better. When I realise they can't keep up with my pace, distance naturally creeps in.  Also, if they do things I can't live with (morally), friendship is unworkable. A friend should build a cage around you.

Ensure they are not Parasites:

Friendship should be symbiotic. I should be there for you, and you for me.

People who always insert themselves into situations, always take from me, and never consider my feelings are not capable of being good friends. Parasitism is a very big red flag. I don't stay where any red flag casts a shadow, how much more where it wraps me in suffocation. Friendship should go both ways, a give-and-take policy.

Determine What I can get:

By now, you should know that putting yourself first is important when choosing friends. If I know they are not parasites, what do I do? 

I think about what they have to offer. If it is good (based on my values and goals), we can consider friendship.

Build Mutual Trust:

Many friendships and relationships fail because of a lack of trust. It is a grave mistake to make friends without trust; even worse to let it fade during the relationship.

Communication and transparency are the first step. I wouldn't want to be a victim of 'breakfast', a layman's term for heartbreak, because that is the result of a lack of trust... especially for a deep lover like me.

We Become Friends:

After analysing, gisting, and getting to know one another, what next? The next step follows, which is to accept a person as a friend.

At this point, they have shown their competence, and I also feel safe with them.

Dear reader, this is not a rigid process. It is as dynamic as you can think. Keep these in the back of your mind and check the boxes based on your personal beliefs and wants. 

There is a wide gap between a friend and a classmate or someone who just has your contact. A friend is more; you can open up to a friend in a way you can't to the new girl who got your digits.